


Forgiving

by scifigeek14



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11.21, Coda 11x21, Gen, Hints at Samifer, How Sam got Lucifer out of his room, M/M, but not glaring, episode 11x21, episode coda, leading towards a friendship, they just talk like equals, we happy few - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-06-10 09:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6951571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifigeek14/pseuds/scifigeek14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is fed up. Just because he and Lucifer had once shared a body did not mean that he was going to let Lucifer keep him from his own bedroom. A.k.a. Sam and Lucifer talk about second chances.</p><p>Coda episode: 11.21</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forgiving

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to @andwhentheworldisspinning on tumblr my very best friend for the proof read.

Sam paced the hallway outside his room in frustration. He’d left Dean in the kitchen to talk to Chuck, but in reality he knew that Dean would be too distracted by God’s (literally) heavenly pancakes to actually get Chuck to do anything about the Lucifer situation. The Lucifer situation which was currently residing in Sam’s room playing music really really loudly.

“Lucifer?” Sam tried banging on the door once more. Lucifer just raised the volume on the stereo. Sam grimaced and made up his mind to do something about the problem. He was going to get his room back. He turned on his heel and walked out towards the front door. He made it all the way to the front door before he remembered that the Impala was still in the basement.

“Where you going?” Dean called out to him with his mouth full of pancake when Sam walked by the kitchen, “Give up on Luci?”

“I left my bag in the trunk,” Sam answered, over his shoulder since he had already passed the doorway.

The Impala was right where they had left it, Austin-Powered right between two pillars in the basement. Sam popped the trunk and pulled out his canvas duffel bag. He slung it over his shoulder and made his way up stairs. The music emanating from Sam’s room was so loud that it was vibrating the heavy wooden door. He dropped his pack on the floor and squatted down to rummage through it.

“Ah ha!” He exclaimed to himself, triumphantly holding up the key he’d recovered from the bottom of his pack. He kissed the key in his hands and silently thanked Dean for years of pranks leading to his paranoia about locking the door to his room and himself for having the forethought to make a spare key.

He stood, shouldered his bag, and unlocked the door. The music cut off as the door swung open. Sam walked in to find Lucifer glaring at him upside-down with his head hanging off Sam’s bed. Sam ignored the glare and dropped his bag on the floor just inside the door. He turned and shut the door behind him. He took a steadying breath before turning back around.

“Sit up, will you,” He ordered, waving his hands at Lucifer, “I’m taking my room back.”

Lucifer twisted around upright and scooted over on the bed. Sam sat down in the offered spot. Lucifer had stripped off his coat, tie, and shoes – that is to say, Cas’s coat, tie, and shoes – and rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. It was still weird for Sam to see Lucifer in Cas’s body, wearing Cas’s clothes, looking at him with Cas’s face. But, at least Lucifer was no longer playing at being Cas, and when he talked or made a face it was easy enough to tell them apart.  

“You know, considering we used to share a body, you’d think you’d be willing to loan me your room for a few hours,” Lucifer complained, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling. He pointed a finger towards the stereo but Sam reached out to smack it down.

“First of all, no more loud music. You are a billion year old Archangel, not an angsting teenager,” He scolded, “And second, it’s been more than a few hours. It is my room, former vessel-hood does not make you a shareholder.”

“Well, I’m not going out there. And I’m not pouting.” He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He set his jaw and pouted.

“Look,” Sam paused to clear his throat, stumbling over the idea of addressing Lucifer so casually, “Lucifer, he is your Dad. Hiding in here avoiding him isn’t going to make him go away or magically change the problems between you two. You need to talk it out.”

“You wouldn’t understand, Sam.”

“Okay, now you really sound like a teenager,” He over-exaggeratedly rolled his eyes, crossed his arms, and slumped his shoulders, “Life is so hard and nobody understands me!” He mocked. Lucifer glared at him.

“Hilarious. But my issues with my dad are a little bit bigger than the average human tween.”

“Are they?” Sam put on what Dean referred to as his “puppy dog face” and leaned a little closer to Lucifer, “The truth is that, with the exception of maybe the angel you are currently wearing, I might understand better than anyone.”

“Running away to college is not the same thing as-” But Sam cut him off before Lucifer could start ranting.

“The day I left, I left to the sound of my dad renouncing me as family. I understand that feeling of rejection, Lucifer. And don’t forget, I’ve been in the Cage. I know what it’s like. And I know that you know you aren’t my favorite person, but you also know that I understand, and you can talk to me.”

Lucifer sighed and scooted back to lean against the wall which the bed rested against. He patted the spot next to him and Sam followed suit, scooting farther up the bed and resting against the wall. He was careful not to let his arm brush against Lucifer’s in the process.

“I was his favorite,” Lucifer said after a heavy pause, “At least, I thought I was. I always felt like I was. Michael used to be jealous of it and Gab- Gabriel would tease.” Sam noticed how Lucifer stuttered over Gabriel’s name. He wondered if it was a sign of regret over having had killed the archangel, but he let it go.

“Go on,” He encouraged.

“On top of that, I was his strongest. So when it came time to seal away the Darkness, God entrusted me with the Mark and I helped him put her away.”

“Yeah, we’d heard that part from Metatron.”

“It was soon after Auntie was locked up that Daddy dearest went to town with the creation. At first everything was fine. He rebuilt the things she’d destroyed: reinforced Heaven, rebuilt the universe, created humans. I helped him make the stars. But the Mark burned away at me. When he made humanity, I saw how saw weak you all were and I didn’t understand. I saw how much he loved you, but I didn’t understand the jealousy that Michael had always felt towards me until he asked me to love humanity first and above all else, because I realized that it meant he loved them above all else, including me.

And the Mark took my envy and twisted it into rage. I acted out, not only against God’s favorite pets but my own brothers and sisters. The influence of Amara in the Mark made me want to destroy… everything. I began turning angels and humans into Demons. I rebelled. I even tried to turn the latest prophet, the one of his Chosen that he loved so much he called him Son.”

“Jesus?” Sam qualified, surprised to hear this.

“You betcha. You can read all about it in the Bible or in those two books by John Milton -- another prophet I imagine but he was after my time.” Lucifer waved his hand dismissively, getting back to the story. “And so my father turned to Michael, his newest most loyal Archangel, and they did to me what he had done to Amara. They locked me up.”

“In the Cage?” Sam asked. Lucifer nodded and Sam thought he heard him sniff, but he wasn’t sure it wasn’t out of anger rather than sadness, “How did Cain get the Mark?” Sam couldn’t resist satisfying his curiosity.

“I gave it to him on the last day of battle. I had hoped that he would be able to save me, free me. I don’t know if he wasn’t strong enough or if he just never tried.”

“I suspect that he would have come up against some pretty tough opposition.” Lucifer rolled his eyes dragging his whole head with him until his gaze rested on Sam. “So, the Mark is what made you….”

“The Devil?” Lucifer shrugged, “Maybe. Maybe I would have always ended up there or even here. But I suppose that you don’t believe in all that destiny crock that Michael was always trying to shove down your throats. I do know that I was worse.”

Sam couldn’t help the snort from escaping. It was hard to image Lucifer much worse than he was: alternating between cold killer and cruel prankster. But then again, Lucifer hadn’t really been _that_ bad since taking over Cas, barring that one time he stuck his hand in Sam’s chest. But Sam had been possessed by Lucifer before and he doubts that Cas wouldn’t have been able to break through if Lucifer hadn’t already been feeling some doubt. In fact, Lucifer seemed to be a lot more … human this time around.

“You laugh, but I was. You know what the Mark does to a person.”

“I remember what it did to Dean.”

“You feel like a contradiction. It amplifies parts of you that you recognize but at the same time you can hardly recognize yourself in your actions. And everyone blamed me, even my own father. The only ones who listened to me were those who feared me rather than trusted me.”

“I understand how you feel. It’s how I felt, those few years before I stopped you the first time. People were calling me the Anti-Christ and my own brother was calling me a monster. It was the demon blood. I had an addiction, same as other addicts, but everyone blamed me.”

It surprised Sam how easy it was to talk to Lucifer like this, as equals. Despite all his protesting against Lucifer’s rhetoric of how they were “made for each other,” the truth was that the two of them _had_ had fairly similar experiences. The difference was how they had handled it. But now Sam was coming to realize that, beyond a fundamental difference in personality and temperance, a lot of Lucifer’s reactions were guided first by the Mark and second by his time in the Cage. The longer he spent away from the Cage the more he mellowed. His jokes became less malicious and more straightforward sarcastic, something which growing up with Dean had more than prepared him for. In fact, sometimes he even found Lucifer’s quips genuinely funny and he knew that Dean did too, though neither of them would admit it out loud.

“Didn’t you ever just get so,” Lucifer paused in his question, frustrated. Lucifer clenched Cas’s hands and Sam heard his knuckles crack, “frustrated? When I finally got out of that Cage I just… I- Didn’t you just wish you could _make_ them understand?”

“Sometimes,” Sam admitted. He had felt those darker urges, “But I knew that to act out would only prove them right. So I tried to, just, do enough good to prove them wrong.”

“How!?” Lucifer interrupted him. His dark and serious tone sounding closer to Cas than he had in awhile.

“You are already taking the right steps here, Lucifer,” Sam encouraged, “By swallowing your pride and coming here to work with us, by agreeing to help save everyone from Amara, by even facing your Dad to begin with. Those are big steps.”

Lucifer sighed and ran his hands over his face and up through his hair. The action mussed up Cas’s dark hair. It reminded Sam of the way Cas’s hair had always looked windblown back when he flew everywhere. Where it used to make Cas look powerful and alien, it now made Lucifer look more human. Sam wondered if Lucifer had picked up the habit of running his hands through his hair when stressed. He thought it was possible that it came from Cas, since Cas had been picking up on his and Dean’s mannerisms over the years. But then again, it was just as likely that he’d gotten it from Sam himself.

“So … do good?” Lucifer echoed, only slightly sarcastically, “That’s your advice? That is the tried and true Winchester road to forgiveness?”

“Yep.”

“And how do I make myself forgive them?” Lucifer spoke softly, seriously. His eyes looked wet when he looked over to meet Sam’s gaze. Sam sighed, his whole body tipping forward with the insane desire to comfort the angel in front of him. If this were really Cas in front of him he wouldn’t have hesitated to gather him up into his arms. Instead, he placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

“You just… have open yourself up, you have to be willing to listen.” Lucifer looked down at Sam’s hand.

“You’re so forgiving, Sam.”

Lucifer smiled. It was a different smile from Cas’s, but it was different from Lucifer’s usual smirk. It was a smile that was softer in the creases of his mouth and rounder around his teeth. Something unclenched in Sam’s chest. He may always flinch when Lucifer snapped his fingers but it was hard to hate the angel in front of him when he was looking at him like that.

“So, supposing we all survive this showdown with auntie Amara, and once I give your brother back his boyfriend, and in turn get back my roguish good looks, and assuming Dad doesn’t immediately lock me back up and throw away the key … do you think,” He paused to sigh, “Is there any chance for a second chance… for me?”

“Well, don’t you think the first step for a second chance is to talk it out with your dad?” Sam asked, letting go of Lucifer’s shoulder and shifting his position away from the wall so he was leaning back on his arms and facing Lucifer.

“Not from him. I meant from you. How do I earn your forgiveness?”

“Oh,” Sam felt himself blushing and he cleared his throat, “Well, um, you know, help us save the world, don’t try to end it again, give us back Cas, keep your messing with my brother down to prank level instead of torture level.”

“Play the good guy?”

“ _Be_ the good guy.”

“Huh,” Lucifer huffed a laugh, “Renounce the Devil and all of his ways.” Lucifer seemed to find it amusing, and even Sam had to laugh a bit at the sentiment.

“And you know how you can start?” Sam prodded lightly.

“By talking to Dad?”

“That, and by getting out of my room.” Sam punctuated his words with a light shove, almost playful. Sam willfully ignored the fact that he was feeling comfortable enough with his former tormentor to shove playfully. Lucifer rolled his eyes again.

“Fine, Sammy, I’ll leave your privacies private… for now.” He winked. He rolled his neck and stretched like a cat before hopping up off Sam’s bed. “But if I’m going into battle, I’m suiting up.” He began redressing in all of Cas’s layers.

“You aren’t going into ‘battle’,” Sam watched, amused, as Lucifer retied Cas’s pale blue tie with far more dexterity than Cas had ever had with the same article of clothing.

“Sure I am.” Lucifer grinned. “And every good soldier needs a right hand man. You gonna be my backup?”

“Yeah, alright,” Sam stood and re-rolled his sleeves. They walked out into the hallway together, “And you can probably use Cas’s room for now until he and you get separated. I’ll look into making up a spare room for you more long term.”

“Long term?”

“Well it’s like you said, assuming we all make it out the other side of this… Good guys get to stay in the Bat Cave.”


End file.
